chingyrules' Journal

today my day sucked pretty much... on weekends i dont really do much.... i have some frends but theyre always busy,.. i have this 1 punk frend:D shs really nice... tha boys dont like me nemo that i was firneds wit last year... cuz i got in a huge fite with my 2 exbestfriends and i was friends wit alot of boys then but now im not cuz im not as "popular" as then...i dunno why.. oh yea cuz 1 of my exbestfriend told tha boys that i went babies from my EXcrush.. jsus christ!! i never said anything perverted like that.... i just had a crush on him! i never said taht... im so mad at her... it was cool yesterday cuz i actually did my hwk! i never do my hwk on saturdays... i always do it on sunday...i went to bed at TEN OCLOCK on friday! WOW.... i never do i always go at midnight or 1 on weekdays:S pretty strange, eh? oh yeah i have a crush on this guy btw:d he always stares at me... i dunno if he does.. we dont say hi or nethin... on friday i stared back at him, like always then he had this REALLY gay smile... i dunno maybe he was laughin at summin his friend said that sits next to him, but he looked in my eyes:S ughhh.. i got pretty sick... but hes HOT!! hes on fiiire! i dont really know how to use this.. i signed up on........ saturday i think but i managed to log in but i dont know how to make only my friend see it... i only have 1 friend:( shes tha punk one.. and she goes to 7a.. im in 7b and i sit next to a HUGE loser... does that suck? or wat? :( doesnt my life suck.... my bro hits me and he does/did drugs and my parents dont really care.. well they said "omg wat did u do" and thats bout it... my bro once hit ma mom:|:| hmmmmmmmm..ok like neone cares... why am i even writing? its not like neone wil read it.... nobody reads my emails or nething.. no one gives a shit about me... well yeah my life is PERFECT now isnt it? i have a pyscho bro dont got no frends and im in love.... why do singers always sing bout how good love is and shit? i dont know why it is... if im in love im in love with a guy but hes not in love with me... why is that good? at least i think hes not in love wit me... it sucks for me cuz i always fall in love if someoenes pretends to like me..seriously... i didnt like my excrush.. but than he started tellin me he likes me and he always stared at me then i started liking me:( im a piece of shit... i hate myslf:( im a loser, im ugly, im fat....... jsus how much can i whine? and who am i writing this to? to myself... its not like anyone is gonna read this piece of shit. sorry for my swearing its just that i dont why im writing this much.. i mean seriously NOBODY is going to read this... i always send emails and no one actually reads it:( most of the time... why am i always whining and feeling sorry for myself.... it cud be much worse... riite, it cud:( im sure... i have another crush on this 15/16/17 yr old guy i have no chance but i can deal with that.. thats not that bad! he has a model really nice girlfriend:D i talk to him and stuff... so its not that bad:):) wat can come next.... :'( grrrr this sucks... well alrite im done.. wat am i suppose to do next?:S

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